~Photography Process~

“Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, or loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever… it remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything.” – Aaron Siskind

Hi Everyone, its been a while since Ive last wrote.. I wanted to start again to combined my two loves ~Writing and Photography~ to discuss how I started to get into my craft/how I discovered the love of the art. Ever since I was younger, cameras and videos were always around me.. My dad having the video camera, making holiday videos every year to show the family who lived in another state. Then, my mom would always bring along the Kodak camera mostly when went to visit my grandma as I tried to steal it and take photos of random objects. Growing up in family were creative was always encouraged, there was always a camera anywhere we went and daily weekend trips to Michaels. During the time I started High School and telling one of my job counselors.. I really wanted to pursue a career in “Photography” they had shut down the idea and said “You won’t make that much money, doing that as a profession” hearing that my mind went blank. Then I was told I showed go into “Education” and I agreed because I was told constantly I was very good with kids and it would be perfect job for me so I had thought about it and realized maybe I should go think about becoming a teacher because everyone thought it was a good idea. During the time, I had just agreed with everyone and proceeded to follow a career in Education.

As time flew by I entered my final semester at College, I started a new job at a Daycare and I thought “This is great everything in my life is aligning, I’m starting a new chapter in my life!” Then a couple of weeks into my new job I realized how much I didn’t like it, I was so disappointed in myself but I didn’t want to give up and stayed more until I realized, “This is a career path I don’t want to take, I don’t see myself as a teacher” and I began to panic because I felt like such a failure. Not even a month into my new job I decided to quit and in my final semester I began to struggle so much with my mental health.. I felt horrible and thinking I should be happy, and everyone around me told me I had no reason to be sad.. But, I was so worried about what to do in my next step in life, “Should I find a job? Go back to school?” with those two questions going back and forth in my head I kind of became numb and thought “I’m really not good at anything so, I shouldn’t even bother” in that moment, I was only seeing black and white.. pointing out everything that was wrong with myself.. while everyone encouraged me to see in color. As Spring began, I decided to get out of the funk and proceed to go out more on walks whenever it was around my neighborhood or the park. While walking around, I started to notice more of my surroundings mostly the flowers blooming in my neighbor’s yard or how the sun rays were hitting one of the house making a beautiful glare.. thinking “Oh wow, this would be such a beautiful photo!” A couple of weeks passed and I bought myself an IPhone 8, because the camera quality was ~Top Tier~ and I wanted to get back into photography! It was in that moment, I just bought an IPhone 8 and the rest was history..

You have a moment in your life, where everything hits and you say “This is what makes me happy!” As months passed with taking photos of nature, candid photos, and of course the iconic summer sunsets. One day in October, I went to a farm near me with my sister and were looking at the pumpkins. Shocked to see that they were still Sunflowers (my favorite flower of all time) as I was starting at them I noticed a Monarch Butterfly on the Sunflower and captured this moment (right above) and I’m that person who always believes in signs.. I did some research on Monarch Butterflies because I kept seeing them everywhere, and it said “A monarch butterfly can appear to you to enable you to know that you are on the right spiritual path. Seeing the monarch butterfly indicates that, you achieved the transformation that you have been working towards. That you are on the right path towards spiritual enlightenment. I believe need to continue towards spiritual wisdom path and be ambitious as always. The “monarch” is protecting you and they will remain to be your spirit guide.” Looking back at this photo, I always think it was a ~sign~ with the monarch butterfly on the sunflower and im so glad I captured this moment. After I took this photo, it really inspired me to take this path seriously wanting to make this a Full-Time Career. I finally retired my IPhone 8 camera, for a Canon T2I and a telephoto lens to expand my creative abilities. My dad is one of my biggest supporters, he would always tell me to find my style.. something to help my photos ~Stand Out~ and be unique ! When COVID-19 had struck, I had some time to think about what I wanted to people to think when they saw my photos..

In my Photography Process, I always like to find something that really people don’t take a moment to notice.. and make something beautiful out of it ! Sometimes I view myself as the hidden object, hiding because I am not ~comfortable~ or I am scared to leave my ~comfort zone~ and when I go into Lightroom the editing process begins with using colors and contrast on the photo! The colors and contrast that make the photo pop, is how I view the people around me believing in me and see me as a beautiful object. That I do have something to give and I stand out in my own way! When im taking photos I always hope, that someone sees my message and knows you do stand out to someone and make someone’s life bright and full of color ! Photography helped me so much during a very dark period in my life thinking I wasn’t good at anything. It really helped my express myself in a way I didn’t know how to do before, and I gained so much confidence in myself. As I said before, im a big believer in ~signs~ when I was going through a tough time I would always look at this word called “Serendipity” its one of my favorite words (Also favorite movie) and “Serendipity” means.. ~The occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way~ On this journey, Ive had so many amazing opportunities and amazing moments ! I believe when you’re feeling down something unexpected happens to you when you least expect it ! When you start to feel good about yourself, you attract good things in your life !

In my 3rd day of being ~24~, I wanted to get back into writing. Even though my grammar is horrible and I do have many run-on sentences (like this one). Sharing my process and the backstory of my photos always gives me joy and I hope to inspire someone out there ! In conclusion to my blog post, ~im a little rusty~ thank you to who made it this far ! Wanted to take the time to thank a few people in my life. I’m beyond grateful to everyone who has been on this journey with me, My Parents, who always encouraged me since I was little to always be creative. Without them I wouldn’t be the woman I am today, I’m so blessed to call them my parents. My Friends, who are always my biggest supporter and they’re the first people I always tell about my good news too ! Always sending me cool photo ideas and always asking me to take photos of all there special moments ! My Sister, Emma who like my parents always encourages me and introduces me to cool photography ideas and opportunities ! When we go out, she always gives me cool new ideas to expand my photography and gets me to get out of my comfort zone ! Last but not least, my Boyfriend James who inspires me to achieve my goals and dreams. Thank you for always seeing my talent when sometimes I don’t feel like if achieved enough ~insert the words of affirmation~ Thank you for reading !

Brooke (:

Now Im Stronger.. Than Yesterday ! <3 How I overcome my struggles in 2019 !

“Cause there is beauty in the breakdown” – Frou Frou “Let Go”

Hi Everyone ! I can’t believe that in two more days ! We are going into a new decade !! Its crazy ! The fact that the year is coming to a end, I wanted to recap my year in 2019 ! I wanted to show photos to show my progress of how I evolved as a person ! ❤ I wanted to use the first photo from my 22nd birthday, during that time it was the beginning of 2019.. in that photo you see a girl smiling next to her favorite birthday cake.. but inside I was going through a very bad depression to the point I had lost myself, I wasn’t Brooke anymore. But, I did not want anyone to know my struggles only few people in my inner circle and family knew I was struggling a lot.. but I was putting on a happy face while I was on social media, pretending my life was great and I was so happy.. it honestly was a cry for help. The next photo is a selfie in my room, (Very basic I know) I believe this was in the middle of the year in March, seeing the selfie now I think okay that is a nice photo of myself ! While, that photo was taken I thought I looked disgusting and began to edit my face to the point where it was pretty obvious it was photo shopped. All I did was take photos in my room, and posting them on Instagram because I was not feeling good about myself and I wanted reassurance that I was beautiful and feeling accepted. I didn’t feel it towards myself so I was seeking approval from others. Everyone knew, they would start pointing out I was taking too many selfies and began to tell me to stop and I had gotten angry pretending I didn’t have a problem and I was fine. In the 3rd photo, maybe in April this photo was taken my friend and I went to pirates cove and decided to walk around, this is when I realized my depression was affecting everyone around me, and I needed help ! I decided to go to therapy to talk to someone and vent about my issues going on with myself. Also, this is when spring was beginning so I felt better because in the winter time I do suffer from seasonal depression.. and it is very hard for me to be motivated . So when Spring was arriving I felt better, and more encouraged to get out of bed and live my life ! I started to get back into yoga ! Which made me feel more confident with working out and it helped a lot of with my endorphins making me feel more positive and happy ! In the summer which was in the 4th photo, I started to get into photography ! It was a great outlet to express myself ! It helped me gain back confidence in myself ! Taking photos to show the beauty in the world ! Photography had made me meet so many new people and gained my confidence back and reconnected with people from my past ! In the 5th photo I started to blog which helped me express how I was feeling ! I have problems with talking about how I feel to others, when I get upset or mad I don’t express how I am feeling which isn’t fair to everyone because mostly they have no idea what is going on or are confused. It was a great outlet to talk about how I really feel !! Sometimes when I had a bad day I would just write and vent about what was going on with myself. In the 6th photo, I went to a sunflower field (Oh really Brooke ? I had no idea !!) This was near the end of Summer, I was feeling better ! I started to help my dad with shoots at his company and felt really good ! But, I was talking to someone from my past that I shouldn’t have, I was dependent on him to make me happy which you should never do ! You should always feel happy with yourself ! Never be dependent on someone to make you feel worthy. I really liked this guy a lot, even though in the past the relationship (we never dated but we had a fling) was rocky and we wanted two different things out of our relationship. I remember messaging him and trying to get his attention, meanwhile he was talking to other girls and it made me feel miserable about myself thinking “Why aren’t I good enough?” It affected my self esteem and how I viewed myself. During that time, I realized I still wasn’t feeling 100% about myself. I thought I had gotten better but talking to this guy and realizing that I was upset that he talked to other girls or didn’t like my photos on Instagram affected me so much. I noticed I was getting depressed again because of a fucking guy and I thought “Why am I getting so upset over him?” I didn’t wanna go back into depression because of this stupid guy who didn’t even really care about me so I texted him one day and said we shouldn’t talk anymore and it would be good for the both of us ! Honestly, sending that text message to him felt so good ! I was done with the constant talking to me and then leaving me alone ! I deserve so much better ! I wanted to have people in my life who give an effort to talk to me and get to know me ! Not me, talking to them on their time and waiting around for them ! In the 6th photo, I decided to go into the city by myself (For the first time) I hanged out with my friend, Jason. Who ive been close with ever since highschool ! We walked around and hanging out for a while ! He was taking photos of me (my personal photographer of the day) I love how he took photos of myself in my prime just enjoying the moment and being happy !!! (: Its great reconnecting with old people from your past as i said before you left off where you guys were before ! Also, seeing Jason how happy he was and how much he had achieved since highschool made me so happy for him and I was so proud and still am being his friend !! In the 7th photo, I finally got a camera (Canon t2i) old school but I still love it ! I went around and began to take so many photos I was so in my element, I even began to take courses to learn more about the camera and wanting to learn better every single day !! The final photo of me was during thanksgiving ! my cousin had taken this photo of me, I overcame depression and anxiety and actually feel happy with myself ! I overcome obstacles and living a better life ! During the hard times, it does get better ! Surround yourself with positive people and be happy with everyone ! Im so grateful with everyone in my life !! (:

What we want to others to see vs.. How we see ourselves

From the outside looking in, it seems fine but they don’t know shit about the everyday grind

Mac Miller “Life Aint Easy”

Hi Everyone ! Back at it ! Its crazy that we our almost about to enter 2020… I wanted to reflect on how ive grown and changed during this year ! I had taken these photos over the summer with sunflowers.. Sunflowers symbolize worship and faithfulness representing the sun, which associates with spiritual knowledge and the desire to seek light and truth !

When going through the photos I had taken over the course of the summer.. I wanted to discuss a topic about how we want people to view us, and what we want to hide from others. So the background of the story of these photos, I colored the sunflowers because as I said before it displays happiness and we want to show people that we are feeling happy kind of like on social media how we want everyone to see the good and we don’t want them to know we are struggling and life is going pretty great ! We hide the negativity in our life from others because we don’t want anyone to know they’re struggling with ourselves. Reflecting on me this past year, I represent the sunflower I was going through a depression around the time I finished up at college. I didn’t want other people to know outside of inner circle, so I decided to post a lot on Instagram showing that I was having fun and being happy ! But, I on the inside I was going through some personal things and I was struggling with finding my own happiness.. I was trying to find happiness through people or activities but I was finding “Temporary Happiness”. Throughout the years meeting people or doing things I thought I was “Happy” but how could I be happy when I wasn’t happy/loving myself. For the first time in my 22 years, I finally found how to love myself with writing and photography it had helped me express my true self and opened a window of new opportunities and meeting new people ! I didn’t feel I needed to hide behind a false appearance of myself anymore. I didn’t need to pretend I was happy for the first time in my life, I was actually happy and found my own happiness! What I wanted to get out of these photos I have taken is, we do sometimes hide behind our happiness or display we are happy but we don’t want anyone to know or fears or worries in the outside world. Thanks for reading part 2 of my photography stories !! Let me know what you guys think so far !

Brooke(:

Express your Creativity !!

Hey Guys ! Whats up ? How is life ? Happy Friday !! Super stoked for the weekend !! So Today was super fun, I went out and explored with my friend Caitlin ! We were planning to go to a sunflower field because Ive been dying to go since Summer started but sadly, no sunflowers because they have not bloomed yet.. such a bummer. So we decided to go Downport, and take some photos and video ! I was super stocked because I love to create (As you can tell by this photo) Haha ! Also, I love to surround myself with people who love to be creative with photography and videography ! In a way it totally encourages me to be creative as well, because I am always worried that I am not good enough or in the back of my head I’m like “Ugh what if someone sees it and shows their friends and makes fun of me !” But, I noticed when I do that I give up on attempting to create or just don’t do it! If its something you love do it ! If it gives you joy ? Do it ! Why should peoples opinions affect you ? If it makes you happy and you love doing it ! Since I was a little girl, Ive been surrounded by creativity my dad is an amazing artist and he is also a videographer ! He has such an amazing eye and produced such amazing content (even though I sometimes make fun of him but its out of love) and I grew up knowing I wanted to do something like that ! Also, I love being around creative people, it really helps out when we can collab and discuss about photography/ writing !! Today, I decided to make tiny 60 second video of my trip with Caitlin and we had a photoshoot (Legit theyre some good ass tinder pictures if you ask me 😉 ) Haha!! It was such a positive day ! I had so much fun exploring and creating !! I love going out with friends and going to places its a great way to express my art in photography and now videography (maybe my dad would be so happy I am following his footsteps) We should totally express creativity ! Its such a beautiful thing ! Seeing the world in eyes of the photographer ! Seeing the beauty in the world !! I hope we all express our skills and hobbys !! ❤ Because, its pretty fucking cool and it makes you become all positive and happy !! (:

Brooke(: