Mental Health Awareness Week.. Tell you about my story.

Hi Everyone ! I know its been forever since we last talked or spoken.. This week is focused on Mental Health Awareness, and I wanted to share about my struggle the past couple of months with dealing with depression and anxiety. So its been hard for me ever since I finished up at college and gotten my associates degree on what I wanted to do with my life after, Whats my next phase? What should I do next? It hard to know that my fellow peers my age are getting their bachelors degree and moving on to bigger and better things, and it was hard for me to see stuff on social media and I started to isolate myself from everyone. Every time someone would ask me “Hey Brooke so what are you doing now?” I would take it more of an insult, and become very defensive. It was to the point I would avoid certain family events or gatherings because my anxiety was so bad that I didn’t wanna be involved and wanted to hide from everyone. I felt so lost and I decided to give sometime to myself not isolating myself but focusing on my goals and work on myself to become better and stronger mentally. So I looked for an outlet to express myself I turned to writing and photography ! It was a fun way to express myself and wanted to show a different side I love to write to express my feelings and it helps me feel better writing my views on certain situation or if I go somewhere or experience something and I love talking about it to other people ! The Creative Outlook is amazing I met some amazing people and reconnect with old friends ! Being Creative has helped me calm down my anxiety and got myself in a better positive mindset. For this week, I want everyone to focus on yourself and your mental health and remember if youre having a bad day just remember to talk to someone and people want to see you happy and succeed !!

Trying to have the “Perfect Beach Body”

Hey Guys ! So today I was feeling sick, and decided to have a productive day and write ! So I wanted to talk about Body Image, Ive been struggling to be happy with my body on and off for a couple of years now.. and its not easy. Somedays I think “Oh my god I feel good and I look good ! It’s gonna be a great day !” and then other days (mostly before I get my period or if im having an off day) I’m like “Yeah I look like crap and feel fat im gonna wear all baggy clothes and not care” This Summer I have been confident in my body and feeling good about myself when I go out and everything ! But, mostly its been hard when I wear a bathing suit or bikini mostly. I went to buy a bikini at Aerie and I felt disgusting and fat, and legit started to cry and thought “Why am I so ugly” and take it off automatically and get in a bad mood. I think its also hard with social media, with photos and always judging yourself thinking you arent good enough or beautiful enough ! I felt more comfortable in a one piece to hide my stomach, I think when you go out or wear a bathingsuit if you feel comfortable and cute at the same time it doesnt matter ! Like now, when I wear a one piece I thought to myself damn I look good ! But, sometimes it can be hard when I look at myself in a photo mostly a photo of me in a bathing suit , I try to suck in my belly, Try to move in a different angle, and use the filters to make myself skinner. i decided to show a picture of me, with no filter or anything ! just my body and accept it for what it is ! Embrace the curves !! Be happy with what I got !! Accept what I have and work with it , this photo makes me realize I am beautiful and I dont need a filter to hide my cellulite on my thighs or make myself Skinner. Or make my ass look bigger , I like the way I look even though sometimes it is hard to pick on myself on the little things, but I am reminded by everyone how beautiful I am inside and out !! That is all that matters !!

When is it time to let go of the Anger?

Did you ever become so angry at someone, to the point where it takes over your life ? Does all that pint up anger get the best of you, the negativity gets the best of you and affects you mentally and physically? Yeah, I would just want to let you know its okay ! If you catch yourself being so mad and angry its good ! You notice that you want to change ! Thats the first step, when you notice it and take a step back and realize “I need to change all this negativity for myself and for my family and friends because your anger and frustration doesn’t affect yourself but everyone around you ! Here our some tips to know when you should let go/move on from being so angry inside !

  1. Remove yourself from toxic people/ situations – For myself, I noticed when im in a toxic situation or talking to someone I know I shouldn’t be talking to because I don’t feel happy/if its making me upset. I should remove myself from the issue. Yes, it takes a while to get over it but it slowly gets better everyday ! Focusing on yourself and what you need to make yourself happier, and if someone if not making you/ situation such as work or something like that you have the choice to remove that issue out of your life ! I think certain things that happen to use whenever it is good or bad, it happens because it makes us stronger and helps us realize what we have in life is pretty great !

2. Put your energy in a hobby- Take your energy into something good for example for myself, I love to write and when something negative happens to me I go to my writing ! It helps me express my feelings and get distracted by the little things that aren’t that big of a deal. I turn to writing because, it is something that I love to do since I was in high school. It made me realized how much happiness it brings in my life and it changed my whole outlook on life ! Writing about my experiences, trying to give advice for some people, and expressing m creativity ! You forget about all the anger when you concentrate on something that you love ! The anger begins to decrease and calms you down !

3. Make plans with friends and go out exploring – Its a good thing to get out of the house or plan to go out somewhere with yourself or your friends ! It makes you realize how much your friends really care about you and want the best for you ! I love my friends, whenever they know I am not feeling like myself they plan something to do and help me get my mind off of it and enjoy the moment and try to be happy !! Its a good way to get out of your mind and be appreciative with your family and friends they want the best for you !!

4. Take time for yourself- I was not having a good week two weeks ago, and I noticed I was being very angry and mad I started giving off bad vibes towards everyone ! I decided to take a break from people, I started to go back into yoga, turned on my laptop and began to write, and started to walk around the neighborhood in the morning (okay more like afternoon) to get myself back on track. When you take a step back and to improve yourself you become more confident and more focused on your goals !!

5. It takes time, so work hard and be focused- The anger will not be gone by tomorrow, it takes time and hard work ! The main focus in life is yourself, YOU matter than anyone else ! When you have an amazing support system who surrounds you they will help you get through this and you will find happiness again !! Take the time to be by yourself, surround yourself with positivity, and be grateful ! You’ll get through this don’t worry everything will happen for a reason ! Be grateful, be in the moment !!

Brooke(:

Those Coffee Shop Days <3

Hey !! Can we talk about this cute little drink in the photo right now… And my best friend, Ashley ❤ So today, I decided to go out with my friend Ashley in the morning to Crazy Beans this cute little coffee shop near my house that I go almost everyday too and the employees know my order by heart (Jk no they dont but if they did I would be super happy and excited) We decided to meet up and get some coffee ! (as you can tell by the cute drink above) Super Good if you are ever in the long island area please go to Crazy Beans ! They have 3 locations on the Island. ANYWHO ! So Ashley and I went at 9:30 am because why not !! No one is gonna be there that early (Also it gets super jammed pack so yeah) so we got a seat near the back ! Got some amazing canolli stuffed french toast so basically sandwiches and inside is canolli so good I love it, I would eat it everyday but it wouldn’t be possible. Cause calories and a lot of sugar I wouldn’t be able to function in my everyday life ! I love going to coffee shops with friends, because you can get a moment out of your day to enjoy some coffee and catch up with people and talk about life and all the good things or if you wanna vent (I vent like 24/7 shout out to my friends who hear my continuing rants for the past how many years of friendship yall are the real ones !)

Can we talk about this amazing food we had the canolli french toast I was taking about and the cinnamon french toast Ashley got !! I love coffee shops because of the whole atmosphere and the positive people who are in it, and everyone is so nice ! Also, its a good escape and connect with people on a personal level and catching up !! The reason why I love going to coffee shops (mostly because I have a very bad caffeine addiction) totally love all the positive vibes ! and It makes you feel all happy inside !! IT was a fun trip to the coffee shop today with my best friend !!

Brooke(:

As T.I. and Rhianna once said.. “So Live Ya Life!!”

Hey Everyone !! Hope you all had a great weekend !! Even though Monday is lurking around the corner, lets enjoy this Lazy Sunday and reflect on our weekends ! So yesterday, I had no plans like ZERO and Ive been hinting a New York City trip but I was like “eh maybe not cause no one wants to go with me” Also, I never been alone in the city by myself like EVER so I was always codependent on someone when I traveled. Basically, I said “Im gonna go to the city by myself and walk around and enjoy my time !” So catched a train and was on my way ! After 2 hours and a 1 min (yes I checked the ride time because I am a total noob) I was finally there ! Took a uber to Columbus Circle to meet up with my best friend from highschool Jason !! I havent seen him in, 5 years since we both graduated highschool but we always been super close and I was so exicted to see him ! So we met at the shops near Columbus and legit we had this adorable moment when I was so exicted to see him ! Like in the movies !! Where ya havent see a person in so long and you guys get super exicted ! So basically that is what happened ! We walked around Central Park, because I was dying to see Strawberry Fields I tried to go a couple of weeks ago by myself when I stayed in the City for a music festival, but I winded up getting lost and had to call my brother who lives near the park for directions to get out of the park LOL it was very bad but I survived. Sorry about that odd flashback but, we walked around and finally found strawberry fields ! (I obviously took a photo with it) and I saw the cute boats on the water and I begged Jason to come with me and do it, and hes like nah and I was like yeah I understand. (If any cute boys reading this who would like to take me on a cute date like that pls don’t be a stranger and message me) haha so after that idea failed, Jason took some cute photos of me ! I loved how he grasped me being my happy self and enjoying the moment !! (Also they’re very good dating profile photos as well) LOL okay I have to stop ! We walked around near the met !! and went to this small tiny diner ! Also they didnt give us our iced coffee and diet coke (very mad about that still) But around 5 I left ! It was a great day !! It’s always good to reconnect with old friends from your past ! Yes, you get older , life becomes more crazy ! But the connection is always there ! When I saw Jason legit nothing has changed between us we are still the goofy kids who would sit on the bench on our off period senior year and talking about our inside jokes ! All together what I want to get out of this blog post is, be grateful for the moment and the people who still are in your life ! Even though if you havent seen them in a while or talked to them in years, talking to them you realize you stil have a connection and a close bond it makes you realize why they were in your life in the first place ! Thanks all I wanted to say and share love you guys !

Brooke(:

Why Ive Been M.I.A …

Hey Everyone ! Long time no write (I thought I was being cleaver when I wrote that.. but I failed miserably) Anywhoooooo , So the reason ive been basically M.I.A for about two months. I have been writing on and off, but I started to give up and not believe what I was writing was good enough. I gave up and just delayed writing all together which was bad because I wanted to write but then I thought “Oh Ill do it later! Not a big deal !” Which made me begin to procrastinate and unmotivated and started to lose interest. A couple of weeks have passed since I last wrote, and I started not to feel like myself and I gave myself some “Me” time mostly consisted with hanging out with friends, going out exploring new places (nature preserves), and discovering my own happiness and trying to do things for myself independently . Honestly, it was the best decision to take some time off and work on myself. . Its good to take some alone time for yourself, we get so caught up on we need to get our lives together so we can live happy lives and become successful. Taking time for yourself does help you in the long run, a step back makes you become refocused on the goals and dreams you set up in the long run ! During this mini break I realized, I should not be so hard on myself in writing and in my personal life. Sometimes when we are so hard on ourselves (I know because I am my own worst critic) we give up on achieving what we want to become and goals we set out for ourselves and I noticed I was doing that and I slowly began to give up. Step by Step I started to better myself, whenever it was going away for a day doing something out of the ordinary, or exercise (yoga) , and just taking time for myself. I started to get more inspired and refocused. I think its a good thing for anyone in general to take a step back from your prioritizes in life and focus on yourself because you are the most important not other everyday tasks we focus on ! So that was my little rant ! I’ll be posting soon ! I got some good trips this month and I cant wait to write about it !! Love you all

Brooke(:

Wanna Escape your negative thoughts.. take a Nature Walk !

Hi Everyone ! The Weather is starting to become nicer here on Long Island ! I decided to take the advantage and do something fun and explore ! My friend and I want to go out more this summer and travel around the Island. Yesterday, we went to Pirates Cove on Long Island ! It’s this amazing place you walk on sand dunes and see the whole area of the sound. It’s a great place to clear your mind, enjoy the smell of the beach (Sea Salt mostly), the sound of the waves hitting the rocks, and avoid hitting the rocks on your feet. It was a great way to get out of the house and enjoy the calmness and beauty of nature. When you go out and escape your comfort zone lets say your house is a comfort zone for safety. When you decide to let go of your fears and just let everything take its course you can do amazing things! My goal for the summer of 2019, is go out and enjoy nature more with my friends, take walks, have long talks, and just explore.

As I continue to insert my artsy photos with the help of Vsco filters, I feel I’m a inspiring photographer wanting to be discovered. But I started getting into taking photos of nature because its so beautiful and calming to look at, Sometimes if we go outside for a moment and enjoy the oxygen from outside, It can change our whole entire mood and help us feel more relaxed. When my friend Dominique and I, decided to go out we parked near this house which we couldn’t do and winded up getting a ticket (also we trespassed so don’t be like us) I never been to Pirates Cove so I was excited to go and experience a new place ! I had no idea we had to climb so much and I began to worry, because my cardio level is below negative and I just have good flexibility. So I was like welp.. here we go!

Here is the whole view of Pirates Cove! I was so amazed at the view I had to take a photo (Perfect photo opportunity) I felt as I was on top of the world, I felt so free and amazed. Like everything in my mind I was worried on concerned about left my head and it was focused on the beauty of what was surrounding me. I was so amazed what was right in front of me, I felt as if I was looking at a picture I found on Instagram or Google Pics but I saw it with my own two eyes in the moment. When going somewhere in nature, just embrace the moment all the problems just go away and we should encourage more of people taking walks or just being outside. I noticed it has helped a lot with myself, when I struggle or have a bad day. I feel more relaxed and calm. We walked up and down, and walked on some rocks near the beach while doing some yoga!

After we walked around and talked we decided to finally go back home and get some food after our good workout. I saw how far we had to walk up the sand dune and my first thought was “Oh my god I am going to die” and I was determined to walk up this TERRIBLE sand dune to the point I thought I was going to pass out, and I saw this beautiful angle of the water as I turned to my left and I said out loud to my friend “I AM GOING TO PASS OUT BUT I NEED TO TAKE A PHOTO RIGHT NOW!!!” Again, bless up VSCO! It totally helped with my photography skills which I am shocked that I have but I am totally getting into the whole hobby of taking photos!! Finally, after running up the sand dune for 30 minutes, I ruined my running shoes to the point I had to throw them out (I am still sad about it) but, It was a great way to get out and explore something new areas where I live! What I want to encourage everyone from this blog post is, I want everyone for a part of your day, try to go out and enjoy some time outside! Now that the weather is getting nicer I want to go out and explore, enjoy the moment! We should all enjoy the moment we are on this earth for a reason! We should focus on our needs first more than anything else! When we focus on our needs first, we feel encouraged to do more things and feel better about ourselves mentally and physically! It can have a positive affect on us ! Thanks for reading guys !

Brooke(: