During quarantine, I was going through a dark period and thinking I wasn’t doing anything meaningful in life. Just continuously binge watching Netflix series my all time favorite “Bojack Horseman” and watching iconic romance movies of the 80s and a little of late 90s. Why I have such high expectations towards relationships. I decided one day to watch tarot card readings, I know people think “How could you see the future in a card?” , “It’s not real” , “Why are you wasting your time, believing this?” It had helped me to focus on the positive not always seeing the negative, does majority of tarot cards tell your whole future? No. But, it can help you a lot with your current situations. For me, I take whatever connects with me and tarot cards help with helping me decide to I wanna learn from this or do I wanna stay in my current situation. After watching about a whole 24 hours on my tarot card based on my sun sign, I decided to go on the internet to learn more about astrology and tarot cards because I was so fascinated about the whole concept. I learned more about myself, such as my sun,moon,rising, and venus signs and how that makes me as a person. While researching it totally opened my spiritual side, and I began to notice things such as “angel numbers” for one I started to notice “111” everywhere, mostly when I was looking at my phone I saw “111” constantly ! I was so confused and wondered “What does that, mean?” So I went on my laptop and started to look more into it, “Number 111, your angels are telling you that you have their support and their love. So, when number 111 appears by your side, it may be right moment to take action. You should start a new project or something that may be of great importance for your life.” Now that is is, July I am excited to start a new journey in my life! Letting go of a toxic past and start a new phase in my life !
Hi Everyone, I haven’t been active on this blog in a while with everything going on in the world with COVID-19 and The protests for the BLM movement I decided to take a step back and focus on my mental health. Sometimes we need a step back from everything that is going on and take time for ourselves ! Sometimes Ive noticed I go in and out of depression and I forget how far ive come and it slowly (my depression) has creeping in and I decided to write a letter of how ive come ! So here comes the letter I wrote for myself:
Congratulations! I’m so happy you’re getting back on your feet, I know its hard some days when you don’t feel like getting out of bed or blasting your music to wish you were somewhere else in your life. But, recently you have caught yourself doing that and want to make a difference in your routine. The world is pretty scary with everything going on, but you manage to take the time out to see your friends and escape the stress by making everyone smile. You been focusing a lot on your work, with photography and you started to dabble into videography. I can tell it really makes you smile and you get a happy feeling after you show your work to others. Taking time for yourself, so when everything gets better in the world you will have a good shoulder on your head. Sometimes are better than others, but you’re on the right track just remember to breathe and be in the moment, don’t over think! I am so proud of how far you have come with your photography and videography, ending toxic relationships, and finally knowing your worth! Its a process but you’re on the right track, I am so proud of the steps you’re making Brooke for your accomplishments keep going always remember they’re people who want to see you succeed !
Hi Everyone, How is everyone doing with everything going on? I’m sorry for the past couple of days (More like weeks) I haven’t been as active, during this difficult time I want to focus on writing and find happiness during these events. I wanted to go back, and finish up my journal entries to self-improve myself to reconnect with all of you ! So here is my third journal entry, I decided to write a person from my past. I wanted to do this journal prompt, because I noticed I have been very stuck on this person and its been hard for me to move on to continue my future relationships. If you want, I hope this encourages you as well to end a toxic chapter in life and begin to live your life in pure happiness !
Its been a couple of months, since I sent my final to you text message saying its better off we don’t talk anymore. But, a year of on/off talking between in each other but I wanted to write to you to express how you truly made me feel about myself. I have held back my true feelings about how you have treated me, to move on and forgive you but I couldn’t. I will admit during the time we were in each others lives, I had played a part as well and I don’t think it is fair to just blame you we were both toxic for each other. The months we had talked, my self esteem was very weak, I changed my beliefs and my appearance so you would want to date me and not “hook up” and I was loosing myself I wasn’t the Brooke everyone knew anymore. I don’t want to get into detail about the things you did to me but all I wanted to ask was, why ? Why me? After you, I looked at myself differently I lost my spark, I felt I wasn’t good enough for anyone, and I was looking for love in everyone because I couldn’t love myself. But, I don’t want to look at the negative between us, I just want to say thank you I know you are probably super confused. But, after all the times you pretended I didn’t exist after we made plans to hang out, messaging me after you and an ex break up, wanting to hang out at 12 am, and saying how much you missed me to the point I believed it and pretending that everything you have done to me in the past didn’t break my heart. You had made me stronger, J you made me realize that I deserve so much better. Why would I want to go back to a guy who didn’t care about me? We talk for a couple of weeks and I feel great then out of the blue you pretend I don’t exist. Last Summer, I was going through a lot and decided to distance myself from others to focus on things that I made me happy such as Photography and Writing. During this isolation, I made new friends and did things for myself. I found happiness for myself and I now I officially say I can love myself, but I had one person I was struggling to let go and it was you. The last straw for me was when, I tried to talk to you on Halloween but you didn’t want to speak to me and I knew a couple of weeks prior you had went on a trip with a girl you began dating and I had no idea during the time because we had hung out and I had plans to see you in the city. I knew I had to let go and it was one part of my life that didn’t make me happy, In a crazy way looking back at it we both weren’t happy we wanted two different things. We weren’t happy in each others lives, I wanted to make a positive step in my life and move on from all the negativity starting with cutting ties with you. So J, I just wanna say you’re the reason why I have became stronger and the hurt you gave to me made me want to walk away and focus on myself. So, after months of hating you, wish we never met, and wanted all these bad things happen to you I just wanna say, I forgive you. I want to move on and let go of this anger that I have been holding for the past couple of months.
Hey Everyone ! How is everyone’s day going ? I’m always bad at starting these blogs because I have no idea what to say first so I usually write the first thing that comes to mind and go along with it haha ! Also, wanna mention I made a new logo for the blog ! (I mean shes cute, shes a winner) Currently making changes to make it pop more !! If you guys have any ideas for me let me know ! I wanna give it more of that wow factor ! Sorry off topic ! 🙂 Anyways, I wanna talk about Summer how we get all excited because the weather is finally warm , we can do so many more activities, and creating more memories ! This Summer, I was so excited to go out more and do things I haven’t experienced (legit made a summer bucket list because I am basically 5 years old) I always wanna have fun during the summer time and live everyday like its my last ! Then, i started to get distracted by certain situations and people. I was putting my time and energy on people and situations that I shouldn’t have dwelled on to begin with, but in the moment I had caught myself and realized “Why am I doing this to myself?” So I took a step back and reanalyzed everything that had happened for the past month and got myself together. I decided to take a week or two by myself and try to focus on me, Mental Health is very important if you have to take a break and just focus on yourself there is nothing wrong with that ! I’m really thankful for my friends and family who were super understanding with my decision ! Being by myself I realized who much the people in my inner circle really care about me and want me to the best person that I am , it made me forget about the other things that were going on and made me more confident to better myself ! I think when we feel lost or you get distracted by everyday events we should stop everything and remember what makes us happy ? who in my life really cares about me ? and how will I move on from this will I become stronger or will this make me weaker. I think negative situations that happen in our life, make us stronger and realize we can move on and be grateful how we overcame the situation. This is why im just focusing on myself this summer trying to become a better person ! Using my creativity, following through my goals, and working hard ! Working on yourself can give you positive feedback and feeling good about yourself internally. When you feel good about yourself it reflects in who you are as a person and the people you attract in your life !!
Hey Everyone ! Long time no write (I thought I was being cleaver when I wrote that.. but I failed miserably) Anywhoooooo , So the reason ive been basically M.I.A for about two months. I have been writing on and off, but I started to give up and not believe what I was writing was good enough. I gave up and just delayed writing all together which was bad because I wanted to write but then I thought “Oh Ill do it later! Not a big deal !” Which made me begin to procrastinate and unmotivated and started to lose interest. A couple of weeks have passed since I last wrote, and I started not to feel like myself and I gave myself some “Me” time mostly consisted with hanging out with friends, going out exploring new places (nature preserves), and discovering my own happiness and trying to do things for myself independently . Honestly, it was the best decision to take some time off and work on myself. . Its good to take some alone time for yourself, we get so caught up on we need to get our lives together so we can live happy lives and become successful. Taking time for yourself does help you in the long run, a step back makes you become refocused on the goals and dreams you set up in the long run ! During this mini break I realized, I should not be so hard on myself in writing and in my personal life. Sometimes when we are so hard on ourselves (I know because I am my own worst critic) we give up on achieving what we want to become and goals we set out for ourselves and I noticed I was doing that and I slowly began to give up. Step by Step I started to better myself, whenever it was going away for a day doing something out of the ordinary, or exercise (yoga) , and just taking time for myself. I started to get more inspired and refocused. I think its a good thing for anyone in general to take a step back from your prioritizes in life and focus on yourself because you are the most important not other everyday tasks we focus on ! So that was my little rant ! I’ll be posting soon ! I got some good trips this month and I cant wait to write about it !! Love you all
How many of you wake up and the first thing you do is get out your phone and scroll through all your social media apps, I am mostly talking about Snapchat or Instagram. When we go on snapchat we look at everyone’s stories, seeing the new apartment they just got, going to that music festival you couldn’t get tickets for, the amazing trips in different countries, and trying out new amazing food from that new restaurant. But, I mostly want to focus on Instagram and start a conversation on how it can impact us negatively and positively.
I wanted to share my personal experience about Instagram, last summer I was going through a lot I was not happy and went through a hard time. I didn’t want anyone to know how I was feeling so I portrayed a “Happier” version of myself on social media. I saw this quote on Instagram that spoke to me a lot and it said,
“Instagram is your own personal little vision board, use it manifest your visions instead of posting reminders of your pain.” That spoke to me a lot, and decided let me delete all my dumb selfies in my bedroom, pictures I took years ago but reposted on Instagram, and my terrible attempt of drawing the little mermaid and gave up, drew her a sweater. Last summer, I was just so focused on my Instagram so focused on getting a lot of followers and gaining more likes. That was my true happiness during the time, which leads me to the conversation.. The one thing I don’t like about Instagram we are so obsessed with followers who looks at our feed, the likes we get, we have to delete our photo if it doesn’t get more than 100 likes, and how it is a competition to see how “popular” we are and who likes us the most. It can ruin our self esteem feeling as if we aren’t good enough, making us worried we are not living our life to the fullest and we start to view ourselves as “Lame”
I was so worried every time I lost a follower or didn’t get that many likes, I began to think to myself “Am I not pretty, fun, or interesting?” I began that summer planning trips to go upstate and go to the city, thinking you know if I go around and have fun people will be more interested and think “Hey Brooke is pretty cool!” The thing I am trying to point out is, I was more excited to take some cool photos and show everyone what I was doing! People are so invested in taking “The Best Photo” editing the photo, thinking of a clever caption, and watching all the likes come up on their home screen that they don’t enjoy the moment the time being on the time or hanging out with your friends, we are more focused on taking cute photos and posting the picture on Instagram. Also, Instagram is not a way for you to be “happy” I am not happy how we are in a society that we get so excited if we get so many likes on a photo or how many followers we have, that is not true happiness. Again, this is just my point of view on Instagram but I believe it takes over people’s lives and we don’t look beyond social media. I admit, I am guilty towards being obsessed with Instagram with reposting photos because it didn’t get as many likes, and if I hit 200+ likes on my photo I get excited. But, we have to remember this.. It is just a photo. We don’t know their whole story and who they are as a photo we just how they want to portray themselves on Social Media.
I shared my views on social media when I discussed about my body issues and the way I viewed myself based on, seeing girls looking amazing on Instagram and me feeling depressed and not good enough. One of my followers on Instagram, Mike had reached out to me about my blog post about my discussion about being body positive. I feel we need a platform to discuss the good and bad about social media and how we should change it, make it more positive besides feeling as if we are in a competition. Mike had told me he is working to become a psychologist and specializing in eating disorders. We both talked about how we struggled with our body images. Hoe we both take a day out and to focus on ourselves and the process of our self improvement. I want to share his point of view on the direction and influence of social media, (Also he should definitely start a blog because I saw so much truth in his writing!)
“The names that time will remember are those who resonate the most to specific audiences. The music created by legacy is composed by many, working collaboratively on a song of purpose, perseverance, insight and wisdom. This is a time where people are hungry for inspiration, compassion, affirmation, and knowledge. People want to learn, and they want to feel what they learn at an emotional level. They want to be entertained while simultaneously amazed. We’re dying for the next real and relatable underdog story. We have no idea who we can trust with our hope and our support, but we invest in those who put themselves on the front line, those who call themselves ‘influencers.’ Simply put, the definition of the term ‘influencer’ has become flexible. What will inspire society to exceed the boundaries that keep them grounded? We need voices that will elevate us and bring us to a new level of lifestyle satisfaction. We need not boundaries, we need more than names. We need heroes. So many characters have dominated Instagram with the image they present to the world, which is far from their authentic personalities. People aren’t required to post their baggage on social media. So we aspire to be like these people who aren’t posting their full selves in their #SundaySelfies. We’re living comparatively at the expense of self esteem. I firmly believe that people should be helping others, without the gratification and vanity brought by popularity. We need to abandon the ‘SELF help’ movement and work toward a ‘help others’ movement. We need to refuse boastful pride and judgment and move toward kindness and compassion. I’m noticing a trend. I see people shy away from presenting their valuable thoughts and ideas to the world because they feel that they aren’t enough. They refrain from posting their personal progress-whether it’s career progress, academic achievement, gym accomplishments, or anything that anyone else may say “Well…someone else did it better.” For the sake of self esteem, let’s change the direction that influence is heading. Let’s do all that we can to become influencers in our own regard. Let’s be more than just a picture on someone else’s Instagram feed. Let’s take back the role of ‘hero’ in our own stories and let us do so as our authentic, real, raw, selves. Let’s embrace imperfection and acknowledge love and progress for those who have come a long way with us. Let’s empower others and be part of the story rather than scroll through and pass through like ghosts. A movement is started with a single step.”
I believe we should end the stigma of the “Competition” that we see on Instagram and focus more on encouraging people ! Yes, I do believe Instagram and Social Media is a great platform to show your hobbies and ideas and It’s a great step in the right direction to become noticed by companies! But, at the same time the competition aspect can really damage a person’s self esteem and hurt them in the process. So my goal is to end, the struggle to become noticed or feel “good”and feel confident and post whatever you feel like posting and not be concerned on how people view yourself. Anyways thank you guys for reading this ! I hope we can join together and focus on the positive aspect of Instagram and end the negativity that comes along with it.