During quarantine, I was going through a dark period and thinking I wasn’t doing anything meaningful in life. Just continuously binge watching Netflix series my all time favorite “Bojack Horseman” and watching iconic romance movies of the 80s and a little of late 90s. Why I have such high expectations towards relationships. I decided one day to watch tarot card readings, I know people think “How could you see the future in a card?” , “It’s not real” , “Why are you wasting your time, believing this?” It had helped me to focus on the positive not always seeing the negative, does majority of tarot cards tell your whole future? No. But, it can help you a lot with your current situations. For me, I take whatever connects with me and tarot cards help with helping me decide to I wanna learn from this or do I wanna stay in my current situation. After watching about a whole 24 hours on my tarot card based on my sun sign, I decided to go on the internet to learn more about astrology and tarot cards because I was so fascinated about the whole concept. I learned more about myself, such as my sun,moon,rising, and venus signs and how that makes me as a person. While researching it totally opened my spiritual side, and I began to notice things such as “angel numbers” for one I started to notice “111” everywhere, mostly when I was looking at my phone I saw “111” constantly ! I was so confused and wondered “What does that, mean?” So I went on my laptop and started to look more into it, “Number 111, your angels are telling you that you have their support and their love. So, when number 111 appears by your side, it may be right moment to take action. You should start a new project or something that may be of great importance for your life.” Now that is is, July I am excited to start a new journey in my life! Letting go of a toxic past and start a new phase in my life !
After 15 years of being released, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind still blows my mind and made me never regret anyone who has crossed my path. I remember watching it for the first time, I was around 17 at the time, I wasn’t in any “real” romantic relationships because I was still young and trying to figure out who I was as a person. When watching the movie, it affected me and made me super emotional. It was so beautifully filmed traveling into Joel’s mind while deleting Clementine out of his memory and we see how his childhood is and how it shaped him into the person he was in present time in the film. When I first finished the movie, I was more drawn to the fact that it was set on Long Island and the main characters lived in Rockville Centre (where I was born). So maybe that’s why I loved it so much during the time? Probably. As I got older, when I started to officially date in my 20s it was an emotional roller coaster. The guys I dated, I either hated, held a grudge over how they treated me, and constantly wished that they didn’t deserve any happiness. (I swear ive matured since than aha) But as an young adult, It related so much to me as I was watching the movie (for about the 50th time) the movie said to me at least “Enjoy the journey, don’t ever regret anyone who comes in your path” I looked at the people who ive met with romantic and non-romantic relationships and I stopped wishing “God, I wish this person never came into my life” But, from meeting those people it has shaped me into the person I am today and right now in my life im pretty content with my relationships. For myself, I always see a negative past relationship or event in my life and think to “Okay, I got out of that situation, its over, I ended it, I can move on and make better memories.” For me, when watching this movie, I realized I never will regret meeting someone honestly, remember the good times, and remember if it wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t meant to be. Also, relationships that you had in your life make you stronger has a person I was having a conversation with one of my best friends after I watched the movie and she had said and til this day it sticks with me “when you meet people, there are good qualities and bad qualities. When you see the good qualities remember that, in your next relationship you will know what you want in a relationship and what you don’t want in a relationship.” I think past relationships make us who we are today as I said before (repeating myself but we good) and what we want in out future relationships. When I’m feeling sad I always put this movie on, and I realize I have good people in my life and my toxic relationships in the past made me the person who I am today, and I don’t regret it at all. I moved on with a happier life and I will never look back on the old times only the good times.
Hi Everyone, I haven’t been active on this blog in a while with everything going on in the world with COVID-19 and The protests for the BLM movement I decided to take a step back and focus on my mental health. Sometimes we need a step back from everything that is going on and take time for ourselves ! Sometimes Ive noticed I go in and out of depression and I forget how far ive come and it slowly (my depression) has creeping in and I decided to write a letter of how ive come ! So here comes the letter I wrote for myself:
Dear Brooke,
Congratulations! I’m so happy you’re getting back on your feet, I know its hard some days when you don’t feel like getting out of bed or blasting your music to wish you were somewhere else in your life. But, recently you have caught yourself doing that and want to make a difference in your routine. The world is pretty scary with everything going on, but you manage to take the time out to see your friends and escape the stress by making everyone smile. You been focusing a lot on your work, with photography and you started to dabble into videography. I can tell it really makes you smile and you get a happy feeling after you show your work to others. Taking time for yourself, so when everything gets better in the world you will have a good shoulder on your head. Sometimes are better than others, but you’re on the right track just remember to breathe and be in the moment, don’t over think! I am so proud of how far you have come with your photography and videography, ending toxic relationships, and finally knowing your worth! Its a process but you’re on the right track, I am so proud of the steps you’re making Brooke for your accomplishments keep going always remember they’re people who want to see you succeed !
Hi Everyone, How is everyone doing with everything going on? I’m sorry for the past couple of days (More like weeks) I haven’t been as active, during this difficult time I want to focus on writing and find happiness during these events. I wanted to go back, and finish up my journal entries to self-improve myself to reconnect with all of you ! So here is my third journal entry, I decided to write a person from my past. I wanted to do this journal prompt, because I noticed I have been very stuck on this person and its been hard for me to move on to continue my future relationships. If you want, I hope this encourages you as well to end a toxic chapter in life and begin to live your life in pure happiness !
Dear J,
Its been a couple of months, since I sent my final to you text message saying its better off we don’t talk anymore. But, a year of on/off talking between in each other but I wanted to write to you to express how you truly made me feel about myself. I have held back my true feelings about how you have treated me, to move on and forgive you but I couldn’t. I will admit during the time we were in each others lives, I had played a part as well and I don’t think it is fair to just blame you we were both toxic for each other. The months we had talked, my self esteem was very weak, I changed my beliefs and my appearance so you would want to date me and not “hook up” and I was loosing myself I wasn’t the Brooke everyone knew anymore. I don’t want to get into detail about the things you did to me but all I wanted to ask was, why ? Why me? After you, I looked at myself differently I lost my spark, I felt I wasn’t good enough for anyone, and I was looking for love in everyone because I couldn’t love myself. But, I don’t want to look at the negative between us, I just want to say thank you I know you are probably super confused. But, after all the times you pretended I didn’t exist after we made plans to hang out, messaging me after you and an ex break up, wanting to hang out at 12 am, and saying how much you missed me to the point I believed it and pretending that everything you have done to me in the past didn’t break my heart. You had made me stronger, J you made me realize that I deserve so much better. Why would I want to go back to a guy who didn’t care about me? We talk for a couple of weeks and I feel great then out of the blue you pretend I don’t exist. Last Summer, I was going through a lot and decided to distance myself from others to focus on things that I made me happy such as Photography and Writing. During this isolation, I made new friends and did things for myself. I found happiness for myself and I now I officially say I can love myself, but I had one person I was struggling to let go and it was you. The last straw for me was when, I tried to talk to you on Halloween but you didn’t want to speak to me and I knew a couple of weeks prior you had went on a trip with a girl you began dating and I had no idea during the time because we had hung out and I had plans to see you in the city. I knew I had to let go and it was one part of my life that didn’t make me happy, In a crazy way looking back at it we both weren’t happy we wanted two different things. We weren’t happy in each others lives, I wanted to make a positive step in my life and move on from all the negativity starting with cutting ties with you. So J, I just wanna say you’re the reason why I have became stronger and the hurt you gave to me made me want to walk away and focus on myself. So, after months of hating you, wish we never met, and wanted all these bad things happen to you I just wanna say, I forgive you. I want to move on and let go of this anger that I have been holding for the past couple of months.
Hi Everyone Day 2 of my Journal Prompt Journey ! Today, I decided to talk about one word I love and believe with my whole heart, “Serendipity” Loved it so much I named my blog after it ! The meaning had resonated with me so much, “The Occurrence and Development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way” Sometimes I believe that when you aren’t looking for something it comes out of the blue ! It’s an exciting surprise ! I would go back looking at this word when I have really bad days or when I think the world just hates me.. I always remember “Serendipity” something will happen out of the blue and when I least expect it and It will all make sense ! I thought it was a good idea to name my Blog “A Little Bit Of Serendipity” because, When we go through really tough times there will be a good outcome when you least expect it.. If you told me this a year ago today, I would of rolled my eyes and ignored you saying, “Yeah.. Okay” But these past couple of months, from meeting new people and exploring new activities the occurrence of Serendipity made me have a better outlook on life, Yeah there are times when I do have bad days like everyone but I know better days are coming and that should not stop me. One of my favorite movies of all time uses my favorite word “Serendipity” peep the photo I used in the introduction towards the writing prompt. Relating to the main character a lot, Sara Thomas she had a great life, a good job, a super cute house that I really want right next to a lake, a hilarious friend who doesn’t believe in astrology (its so true come on Molly Shannon), and strange fiancee with has a weird style of music (But we stand the creativity up in this household) She still was looking for more and followed her heart to go back to New York to the man she met years ago and had a deep connection with even though she only spoke to him for a couple of hours, but she didn’t give up on her connection. Following her heart and intuition ! As Jewel once said, “Follow your heart..your intuition it will lead you in the right direction!” I honestly believe good things happen when you least expect it, and its pretty beautiful the outcome. Just always remember everyone ! Sometimes when we least expect it something magical can happen and it can change your life for the better: For Example, Using this platform to speak my truth and try to make myself a stronger person and using my creativity to connect my art with others. I never have expected this outcome last year, I am so blessed for the people I met during this journey of self love and reconnecting with my souls person (whoa got super deep there) so that’s the reason why the word “Serendipity” has such an impact on me and what encouraged me to write this blog and want to express to people it gets better and their is always beauty in a breakdown! Thank you all for reading Day 2 ! Check out for tomorrow’s Blog Post ! Love to all you beautiful souls !!
Hi Everyone ! I know its been a couple of weeks since I last posted something but, I wanted to write and get back on my goals and dreams. Recently I have been lacking on writing my blog posts, its come to my attention its been a year of having this blog ! So for my one year I decided to do a writing prompt of my self discovery throughout this month and how I want to improve myself and see how far ive come.. Anyways Lets start !!
Day 1: Work Through Every Section of your Life and Asses what is Working Well, What isn’t, and Any changes you can make?
I looked at my Costar Today and it had said, “Is There Time for Everything you want to do Today?” I really got me thinking.. There is always things I wanna do in a day, things I want to accomplish, but sometimes life gets in the way and I wind up forgetting or loosing track of time to the point I don’t achieve the goals I wanted to do Today. So, I wanted to get on the right track and get my head focused. So I wanted to think about the things in my life what im doing right now, how I wanna change and become a better person.. what is working.. what isn’t working.
What isn’t Working Well : Currently, I noticed that I don’t really have a routine for my day I kind of just go with the flow and see how my day is and I’m now at the point where I want structure in my day. I want to plan out how my day is so I can get things done! Another one is im very attached to my phone, I can be on the phone for hours without even realizing it watching videos on Instagram to binge watching a Netflix episode out in public. I wanna take away some of the electronics I use in my everyday for an hour and get myself refocused and stay concentrated because I tend to loose interest easily and avoid tasks im suppose to do during the day and then I say “Oh I have time tomorrow!” Then, I’ll never do it.. and it will be a repeating cycle. So then that leads to the other thing in my life that isn’t working well Procrastination, which I do a lot and it annoys me its hard to have motivation it could be to making my bed in the morning to calling to make an appointment to the hair salon or something. I really want to change that because I believe it could make my life a little less complicated if I just do something without being worried or nervous, and just being plain lazy and doing it towards the last minute. The Last thing is, I noticed a pattern I have with relationships (Mostly Romantic) when the guy I am interested in starts to loose interest I tend to reach out mostly and I don’t wanna them to loose interest with me or not like me anymore. It’s been affecting me a lot because Ive noticed its become a pattern, I wanted to end that cycle and say to myself constantly “If they want to message you they will, you have people who love you and think you’re amazing if one person doesn’t want to be in your life that’s okay!” It’s sometimes hard for me, but I have to remind myself that daily and I feel better.
What Changes I Want To Make : The Changes I would like to make is, I want to be more connected to the world than being glued to my phone 24/7 which as I got older I noticed, and there is more to life than electronics. I want to take one day just one day out of my life without using my phone.. I actually slowly began doing that I got a coloring book and I feel super focused when I am coloring and it relaxes me a lot when I am stressed and overwhelmed. I want to meet more people who have the same interests towards writing and photography, this summer I met some really cool people who are interested towards photography and its really awesome when they understand what you’re talking about because I feel like when I nerd out talking about photography people look at me with two heads and I get super self-conscious so I talk about a funny story that happened to me in my past LOL. I also wanna go out more and explore nature the weather is slowly getting better and I love going to pirates cove and Avalon in the spring time ! Recently I wanted to get back into drawing im honestly like not the best but I do love being creative and meeting people who have the similar interest’s as me !! Those are the things I want to change in my life right now ! Also, be more focused with goals I want to set out to do to better my future self ! ❤ Thank you all for reading , hope you all enjoyed my daily journal prompt number one ! Check out Number Two Tomorrow !! Love to all ! Have a Beautiful Day !!
Hi Everyone ! Happy 2020, it’s been a crazy a couple of weeks while entering the new decade. I was going to write a blog post about my new resolutions and goals I wanted to achieve this year, but hearing the sad passing about Kobe Bryant and his daughter made me think hard about how we should be grateful and blessed everyday. Recently I’ve been struggling with low self esteem and a little bit of depression when entering 2020 it’s been hard because I always want to put on a happy face to everyone but inside I still struggle. It’s been hard to become motivated since all I wanna do is sometimes hide from the world and deal with my issues, but recently it’s been getting better, I’ve been more motivated to do things since I’ve changed my medication and I have amazing friends and family who are there to encourage me when I’m having bad days. Hearing the news about the passing about Kobe Bryant, his daughter, and the other passengers made me think.. here I am being upset about things I could change and people lost their loved ones and will never see them again. Then, I start to think.. why did I get upset over someone not texting me back, someone ghosting me, not getting a call back from the job I wanted, and feeling so bad about myself. I should be grateful for the friends and family who stayed with me through my hard times and know that the people who are in my life didn’t leave and wanted to stay to see me get better everyday. Hearing the news, kind of shook me out of this funk I’ve been staying in for a couple of days and I’ve noticed it’s been affecting myself and the others around me. I just want every to know they should feel grateful everyday and never take anything for granted. Try to escape your mind, and spend time with friends and family ! They love you the way you are ! Focus on yourself and work to be the best Version of you . If the person you been talking to hasn’t really reached out to you, keep yourself focused and determined on your goals you will meet new people and friends along the way ! Also, what I always say there is a reason you’re on this earth to make a impact on the world and you’re loved by everyone even if your having the worst day just remember tomorrow is a new day! And it’s your decision to change it and create memories ! Thank you for my rant and I haven’t written in a while but I’m focused and back on my goals ! Love to all !
“Cause there is beauty in the breakdown” – Frou Frou “Let Go”
Hi Everyone ! I can’t believe that in two more days ! We are going into a new decade !! Its crazy ! The fact that the year is coming to a end, I wanted to recap my year in 2019 ! I wanted to show photos to show my progress of how I evolved as a person ! ❤ I wanted to use the first photo from my 22nd birthday, during that time it was the beginning of 2019.. in that photo you see a girl smiling next to her favorite birthday cake.. but inside I was going through a very bad depression to the point I had lost myself, I wasn’t Brooke anymore. But, I did not want anyone to know my struggles only few people in my inner circle and family knew I was struggling a lot.. but I was putting on a happy face while I was on social media, pretending my life was great and I was so happy.. it honestly was a cry for help. The next photo is a selfie in my room, (Very basic I know) I believe this was in the middle of the year in March, seeing the selfie now I think okay that is a nice photo of myself ! While, that photo was taken I thought I looked disgusting and began to edit my face to the point where it was pretty obvious it was photo shopped. All I did was take photos in my room, and posting them on Instagram because I was not feeling good about myself and I wanted reassurance that I was beautiful and feeling accepted. I didn’t feel it towards myself so I was seeking approval from others. Everyone knew, they would start pointing out I was taking too many selfies and began to tell me to stop and I had gotten angry pretending I didn’t have a problem and I was fine. In the 3rd photo, maybe in April this photo was taken my friend and I went to pirates cove and decided to walk around, this is when I realized my depression was affecting everyone around me, and I needed help ! I decided to go to therapy to talk to someone and vent about my issues going on with myself. Also, this is when spring was beginning so I felt better because in the winter time I do suffer from seasonal depression.. and it is very hard for me to be motivated . So when Spring was arriving I felt better, and more encouraged to get out of bed and live my life ! I started to get back into yoga ! Which made me feel more confident with working out and it helped a lot of with my endorphins making me feel more positive and happy ! In the summer which was in the 4th photo, I started to get into photography ! It was a great outlet to express myself ! It helped me gain back confidence in myself ! Taking photos to show the beauty in the world ! Photography had made me meet so many new people and gained my confidence back and reconnected with people from my past ! In the 5th photo I started to blog which helped me express how I was feeling ! I have problems with talking about how I feel to others, when I get upset or mad I don’t express how I am feeling which isn’t fair to everyone because mostly they have no idea what is going on or are confused. It was a great outlet to talk about how I really feel !! Sometimes when I had a bad day I would just write and vent about what was going on with myself. In the 6th photo, I went to a sunflower field (Oh really Brooke ? I had no idea !!) This was near the end of Summer, I was feeling better ! I started to help my dad with shoots at his company and felt really good ! But, I was talking to someone from my past that I shouldn’t have, I was dependent on him to make me happy which you should never do ! You should always feel happy with yourself ! Never be dependent on someone to make you feel worthy. I really liked this guy a lot, even though in the past the relationship (we never dated but we had a fling) was rocky and we wanted two different things out of our relationship. I remember messaging him and trying to get his attention, meanwhile he was talking to other girls and it made me feel miserable about myself thinking “Why aren’t I good enough?” It affected my self esteem and how I viewed myself. During that time, I realized I still wasn’t feeling 100% about myself. I thought I had gotten better but talking to this guy and realizing that I was upset that he talked to other girls or didn’t like my photos on Instagram affected me so much. I noticed I was getting depressed again because of a fucking guy and I thought “Why am I getting so upset over him?” I didn’t wanna go back into depression because of this stupid guy who didn’t even really care about me so I texted him one day and said we shouldn’t talk anymore and it would be good for the both of us ! Honestly, sending that text message to him felt so good ! I was done with the constant talking to me and then leaving me alone ! I deserve so much better ! I wanted to have people in my life who give an effort to talk to me and get to know me ! Not me, talking to them on their time and waiting around for them ! In the 6th photo, I decided to go into the city by myself (For the first time) I hanged out with my friend, Jason. Who ive been close with ever since highschool ! We walked around and hanging out for a while ! He was taking photos of me (my personal photographer of the day) I love how he took photos of myself in my prime just enjoying the moment and being happy !!! (: Its great reconnecting with old people from your past as i said before you left off where you guys were before ! Also, seeing Jason how happy he was and how much he had achieved since highschool made me so happy for him and I was so proud and still am being his friend !! In the 7th photo, I finally got a camera (Canon t2i) old school but I still love it ! I went around and began to take so many photos I was so in my element, I even began to take courses to learn more about the camera and wanting to learn better every single day !! The final photo of me was during thanksgiving ! my cousin had taken this photo of me, I overcame depression and anxiety and actually feel happy with myself ! I overcome obstacles and living a better life ! During the hard times, it does get better ! Surround yourself with positive people and be happy with everyone ! Im so grateful with everyone in my life !! (:
From the outside looking in, it seems fine but they don’t know shit about the everyday grind
Mac Miller “Life Aint Easy”
Hi Everyone ! Back at it ! Its crazy that we our almost about to enter 2020… I wanted to reflect on how ive grown and changed during this year ! I had taken these photos over the summer with sunflowers.. Sunflowers symbolize worship and faithfulness representing the sun, which associates with spiritual knowledge and the desire to seek light and truth !
When going through the photos I had taken over the course of the summer.. I wanted to discuss a topic about how we want people to view us, and what we want to hide from others. So the background of the story of these photos, I colored the sunflowers because as I said before it displays happiness and we want to show people that we are feeling happy kind of like on social media how we want everyone to see the good and we don’t want them to know we are struggling and life is going pretty great ! We hide the negativity in our life from others because we don’t want anyone to know they’re struggling with ourselves. Reflecting on me this past year, I represent the sunflower I was going through a depression around the time I finished up at college. I didn’t want other people to know outside of inner circle, so I decided to post a lot on Instagram showing that I was having fun and being happy ! But, I on the inside I was going through some personal things and I was struggling with finding my own happiness.. I was trying to find happiness through people or activities but I was finding “Temporary Happiness”. Throughout the years meeting people or doing things I thought I was “Happy” but how could I be happy when I wasn’t happy/loving myself. For the first time in my 22 years, I finally found how to love myself with writing and photography it had helped me express my true self and opened a window of new opportunities and meeting new people ! I didn’t feel I needed to hide behind a false appearance of myself anymore. I didn’t need to pretend I was happy for the first time in my life, I was actually happy and found my own happiness! What I wanted to get out of these photos I have taken is, we do sometimes hide behind our happiness or display we are happy but we don’t want anyone to know or fears or worries in the outside world. Thanks for reading part 2 of my photography stories !! Let me know what you guys think so far !
Hi Everyone ! I know its been forever since we last talked or spoken.. This week is focused on Mental Health Awareness, and I wanted to share about my struggle the past couple of months with dealing with depression and anxiety. So its been hard for me ever since I finished up at college and gotten my associates degree on what I wanted to do with my life after, Whats my next phase? What should I do next? It hard to know that my fellow peers my age are getting their bachelors degree and moving on to bigger and better things, and it was hard for me to see stuff on social media and I started to isolate myself from everyone. Every time someone would ask me “Hey Brooke so what are you doing now?” I would take it more of an insult, and become very defensive. It was to the point I would avoid certain family events or gatherings because my anxiety was so bad that I didn’t wanna be involved and wanted to hide from everyone. I felt so lost and I decided to give sometime to myself not isolating myself but focusing on my goals and work on myself to become better and stronger mentally. So I looked for an outlet to express myself I turned to writing and photography ! It was a fun way to express myself and wanted to show a different side I love to write to express my feelings and it helps me feel better writing my views on certain situation or if I go somewhere or experience something and I love talking about it to other people ! The Creative Outlook is amazing I met some amazing people and reconnect with old friends ! Being Creative has helped me calm down my anxiety and got myself in a better positive mindset. For this week, I want everyone to focus on yourself and your mental health and remember if youre having a bad day just remember to talk to someone and people want to see you happy and succeed !!
